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Author Topic: George W. Bush Resume  (Read 432 times)


  • Guest
George W. Bush Resume
« on: August 23, 2003, 12:29:01 pm »
GEORGE W. BUSH, JR. - The White House

Past work experience:
*  Ran for Congress and lost.
*  Produced a Hollywood slasher B movie.
*  Bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas; company
went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.
*  Bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that
took land using taxpayer money.
*  Biggest move: Traded Sammy Sosa to the Chicago Cubs.
*  Elected Governor of Texas - with father's help (and his name).

*  Changed pollution laws for power and oil companies and made Texas
the most polluted state in the Union. Replaced Los Angeles with
Houston as the most smog ridden city in America.
*  Cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas government to the tune of
billions in borrowed money.
*  Set record for most executions by any Governor in American history.
*  Became President after losing the popular vote by over 500,000
votes, with the help of my fathers appointments to the Supreme Court.

Accomplishments as President:
*  Attacked and took over two countries.
*  Spent the surplus and bankrupted the treasury.
*  Shattered record for biggest annual deficit in history.
*  Set economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12
month period.
*  Set all-time record for biggest drop in the history of the stock
*  First President in decades to execute a federal prisoner.
*  First President in US history to enter office with a criminal
*  First year in office set the all-time record for most days on
vacation by any President in US history.
*  After taking the entire month of August off for vacation, presided
over the worst security failure in US history.
*  Set the record for most campaign fundraising trips than any other
President in US history.
*  In my first two years in office over 2 million Americans lost their
*  Cut unemployment benefits for more out of work Americans than any
President in US history.
*  Set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12 month period.
*  Appointed more convicted criminals to administration positions than
any President in US history.
*  Set the record for the least amount of press conferences than any
President since the advent of television.
*  Signed more laws and executive orders amending the Constitution
than any President in US history.
*  Presided over the biggest energy crises in US history. Refused to
intervene when corruption was revealed.
*  Presided over the highest gasoline prices in US history and refused
to use the national reserves as past Presidents have.
*  Cut healthcare benefits for war veterans.
*  Set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously
take to the streets to protest me (15 million), shattering the record
for protest against any person in the history of mankind.
*  Dissolved more international treaties than any President in US
*  My Presidency is the most secretive and unaccountable of any in US
*  Members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in US
history.  (The 'poorest' multimillionaire, Condoleezza Rice has an
Exxon oil tanker named after her).
*  First President in US history to have all 50 states of the Union
simultaneously go bankrupt.
*  Presided over the biggest corporate stock market fraud of any
market in any country in the history of the world.
*  First President in US history to order a US attack and military
occupation of a sovereign nation.
*  Created the largest government department bureaucracy in the
history of the United States.
*  Set the all-time record for biggest annual budget spending
increases, more than any President in US history.
*  First President in US history to have the United Nations remove the
US from the human rights commission.
*  First President in US history to have the United Nations remove the
US from the elections monitoring board.
*  Removed more checks and balances, and have the least amount of
congressional oversight than any presidential administration in US
*  Rendered the entire United Nations irrelevant.
*  Withdrew from the World Court of Law.
*  Refused to allow inspectors access to US prisoners of war and by
default no longer abide by the Geneva Conventions.
*  First President in US history to refuse United Nations election
inspectors (during the 2002 US elections).
*  All-time US (and world) record holder for most corporate campaign
*  My biggest lifetime campaign contributor presided over one of the
largest corporate bankruptcy frauds in world history (Kenneth Lay,
former CEO of Enron Corporation).
*  Spent more money on polls and focus groups than any President in US
*  First President in US history to unilaterally attack a sovereign
nation against the will of the United Nations and the world community.
*  First President to run and hide when the US came under attack (and
then lied saying the enemy had the code to Air Force 1).
*  First US President to establish a secret shadow government.
*  Took the biggest world sympathy for the US after 911, and in less
than a year made the US the most resented country in the world
(possibly the biggest diplomatic failure in US and world history).
*  With a policy of 'disengagement' created the most hostile
Israeli-Palestine relations in at least 30 years.
*  First US President in history to have a majority of the people of
Europe (71%) view my Presidency as the biggest threat to world peace
and stability.
*  First US President in history to have the people of South Korea
more threatened by the US than their immediate neighbor, North Korea.
*  Changed US policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded
government contracts.
*  Set all-time record for number of administration appointees who
violated US law by not selling huge investments in corporations
bidding for government contracts.
*  Failed to fulfill my pledge to get Osama Bin Laden 'dead or alive.'
*  Failed to capture the anthrax killer who tried to murder the
leaders of our country at the United States Capital building. After 18
months I have no leads and zero suspects.
*  In the 18 months following the 911 attacks, I have successfully
prevented any public investigation into the biggest security failure
in the history of the United States.
*  Removed more freedoms and civil liberties for Americans than any
other President in US history.
*  In a little over two years created the most divided country in
decades, possibly the most divided the US has ever been since the
civil war.
*  Entered office with the strongest economy in US history and in less
than two years turned every single economic category heading straight

Records and References:
*  At least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine (Texas driving
record has been erased and is not available)
*  AWOL from National Guard and deserted the military during a time of
*  Refuse to take drug test or even answer any questions about drug
*  All records of my tenure as Governor of Texas have been spirited
away to my father's library, sealed in secrecy and unavailable for
public view.
*  All records of any SEC investigations into my insider trading or
bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public
*  All minutes of meetings for any public corporation I served on the
board are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
*  Any records or minutes from meetings I (or my Vice President)
attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and
unavailable for public review.

Personal References:
*  Please speak to my Daddy or Uncle James Baker.  (They can be
reached at their offices of the Carlyle Group for war-profiteering).

Favorite Song:
*  "Hail to the Chief"

:lol  :lol  :lol  
:rollin  :rollin
:lol  :lol  :lol  :lol  :lol  
:rollin  :rollin  :rollin  
:lol  :lol  :lol  :lol  :lol  :lol  :lol  :lol  :lol  :lol
:rollin  :rollin  :rollin  
:lol  :lol  :lol  :lol  :lol  
:rollin  :rollin
:lol  :lol  :lol  

Randy Given

  • Guest
AccuracyIT Resume
« Reply #1 on: August 25, 2003, 03:46:46 am »
AccuracyIT's resume:

+ blamed all evils on GWB
+ failed to change anyone's mind
+ died

* Became President after losing the popular vote by over 500,000 votes, with the help of my fathers appointments to the Supreme Court.
The decision on constitutionality was 5-4 (THAT is the significant decision, but sore losers only go with the 7-2 remedy decision, which really was pointless anyhow and proven correct for Bush from SEVERAL locations and political agendas). BushSr only nominated 2 of those. One voted for (1 of 5, or 20% of concurring) and one against (1 of 4, or 25% of dissenting).

The decision on remedy was 7-2, where both nominees voted with the majority. However, that is nearly "after the fact". As mentioned, it would have made no difference anyhow.

Gee, seems like his father's nominations did more to HURT him than help. At least check your facts.

There are so many errors in your diatribe, it really is appalling. I would have to spend hours to correct them. I do not have the time for that and do not know how you possibly have so much time for Bush hate-mongering. Maybe you need to spend more time on your professional skills??? Similarly, I do not know why I waste so much time correcting your errors. I guess my resume looks a lot like yours.  :(   I better go see my shrink.

Randy Given

  • Guest
New Career
« Reply #2 on: August 25, 2003, 09:40:03 am »
I do not have the time for that and do not know how you possibly have so much time for Bush hate-mongering.
Hey! I got an idea. You COULD take that anger and translate it into cartoons. It would have a limited audience, but so what. And, it ought to keep you busy for at least the next 5 years.  ;)

Randy Given

  • Guest
Serious Post
« Reply #3 on: August 26, 2003, 08:41:51 am »
The above was a serious post -- possible avenues of revenue generation. Considering the economy, I know that I am personally considering MANY alternate routes.